sometimes we just need a reminder

tomorrow

Tomorrow my boy starts 1st grade. 1st grade!!! I'm going to miss him so much during the day. While summer is hectic and really takes its toll on me I'll miss his constant chatter and hearing/watching him make his sister giggle.

I am entering this school year prepared with the health of my son at the forefront of my mind. The only thing that changed last year (other than moving half-way across the country) was a solid diet of school lunches and going to Kindergarten all day. He has really gained a good bit of weight in just one year and that concerns me. I did the school lunch deal because I *thought* it was healthy and would be a good option for him. I was wrong. This year I am packing his lunches so that I *know* what's he's eating. I decided that I would share with you because if you're struggling to pack your own child's lunch you might find an idea that you want to use and the more kids that eat healthier lunches the better, right?

Here is tomorrow's lunch. Turkey and cheddar sub, granola bar, strawberries and fried apples (leftover from Cracker Barrel). The bread I used to make this more of a sub and not a sandwich is Arnold Fill 'Ems Sandwich Thins (whole grains, no trans fat, no cholesterol, no high fructose corn syrup, 100 calories and, best of all, they taste good.). The container is a Ziploc divided container.



Compared to his options for school lunches - either a Meatball Sub with Cheese on Roll, Peas, Mixed Fruit, Milk or Chicken Patty on Roll with Lettuce & Mayonnaise, Peas, Mixed Fruit, Milk - I think his meal from home (checking in at around 550 calories) isn't too bad and in my opinion seems far healthier.

What do you do? Send your kids packing or let them buy at school? Any ideas you want to share with me - spill the beans, peeps!

Two sites that have inspired me in my quest to pack healthy lunches for my son are another lunch and Mommy Needs Cake. Please visit them for lots of great ideas! (Not a sponsored post.)

ditching my inner mean girl

I have decided to join some friends (Tiffany, Brooke, Kim and Beki - that I know of so far) and ditch my inner mean girl.

You know her (thankfully not as well as I do!) - she's the girl that is critical of me, the one who compares herself to everyone else, thinks she needs to be super mom-friend-daughter-sister-wife, and sets unrealistic goals for me in the process. When she does this I feel overwhelmed, frustrated and not good enough. I don't let others treat me so poorly but I let her and it needs to stop.

Starting now (the official 40 Day Inner Mean Girl Cleanse started a few days ago), I am taking control, grabbing her ponytail and tossing her out of my life...or at least putting her in a permanent time out.

Why 40 days? Because 40 days is what it takes to change your habits.

And the habits/lies we're conquering?

• Comparison.
• Judgment.
• Gossip.
• Expectations.
• Obligations.
• Fear-based Media.

Pretty heavy stuff, huh?

I'm actually looking forward to doing this and working on changing these toxic thoughts that are getting in the way of me enjoying my life to its fullest potential.

I'll keep you posted on how it's going!

you capture - outside

Ummm, I have no idea how many months it's been since I've participated in You Capture. Shame on me. You Capture is fun. Having Beth give us a topic and then doing it - even if it's something we're not sure we can figure out? Plus checking out the awesome photographers there are in the blogosphere and making new friends? Totally fun.

This past week's assignment was to get outside. This one might have been tough because it has been so flippin muggy, humid, hot, etc. BUT the past few days have been gorgeous in Pennsylvania so we got outside.

Pay no attention to the little girl in her underwear. We're potty training. And pants are not an option right now. But no pants doesn't have to equal no fun, right?



What did everyone else do outside this past week? Go find out!

weekly check-in: down & dirty in 30

Let's see, although I've reported in weekly with my team, my last check-in here was on August 4th. Whoops! Since then I have gained 1.2 pounds. This includes vacation time and a crap load of stress so I'm not too concerned. And this is life. I need to roll with the punches, figure out a plan and do it to the best of my ability.

As I mentioned in my last post I have problems with an all-or-nothing attitude. I need to work on this and am trying. Step 1 in my multi-phase stop with the all-or-nothing attitude plan is to take baby steps. My 1 and only baby step this week is to consume 80-100 ounces of water daily. I have 2 friends that are checking in with me to make sure I've done it (thanks Kristen and Beki!) Today I was successful with 83 ounces. I'm still trying to count my calories and get exercise in but it's not going to consume me. For this week, water will consume me and water only. And already, just knowing that I'm only *focusing* on this one thing makes me feel so much better.

On another note, my favorite post this week is Reality Check by April. It is a must-read for anyone on the weight-loss journey. Please. Go read it. And have a fabulous week!

xoxo

i think the internet is trying to tell me something

the bad

I have not eaten right. I have not exercised. I have not had enough water. I have not had enough sleep. I am tired, anxious and overwhelmed. My inner child has not been nice to me when she talks to me. Somebody needs to pop her. Maybe I should.

the good

While being seriously stressed out I did not take it out on my kids. I finally registered the 2yo for gymnastics and she starts next week. I also bit the bullet and signed myself up for the Disney 1/2. (Those have been on my to-do list for a while.)

Now what's this about the Internet trying to tell me something?

First, I saw this over at Roni's Weigh: Live the life you want to live. Be the person you want to remember. Make decisions. Make mistakes. If you fall, at least you tried.

Then this, at Operation Beautiful: “Don’t wait until everything is just right. It will never be perfect. There will always be challenges, obstacles and less than perfect conditions. So what. Get started now. With each step you take, you will grow stronger and stronger, more and more skilled, more and more self-confident and more and more successful.” (Mark Victor Hansen)

Both of these really spoke to me because I've been sitting here saying things like "you can't do this if you can't get on the treadmill" or "you can't do this with no one to watch the kids". You get the picture. The problem is I'm trying to do it they way I think it SHOULD be done instead of just getting it done. Even if I try it's better than doing nothing at all, right? Right.

As Karena so eloquently put it, "And when my needs are met, I’m much better equipped to meet the needs of everyone that depends on me."

followers

If you follow via Google Reader, Friend Connect, etc. would you either comment here with your email address or Twitter ID or email me or DM me on Twitter? Gracias.

a good day

I think it was the meds. My 2 year old has stopped throwing tantrums, hitting, screaming and having complete meltdowns. She's still a little whiny BUT so much better than earlier this week. She told me tonight that her mouth hurts. Molars, maybe? I'm not sure. I guess time will tell, huh?

The husband is still at work (he came home at 5 AM to sleep until 9:30 AM and then headed back to work). As I write this at 10:55 PM he's still there and I have no idea when he's coming home.

Although I still haven't had a break I'm feeling better today. Probably because my daughter is feeling better which alleviates a lot of the extra stress. The kids didn't fight too much, I managed to get bed sheets changed and some laundry done and we even did puzzles and had story time. So I'd say that made for a pretty good day even if my daughter didn't fall asleep until after midnight last night and as I sit here typing this tonight is still awake.

running on fumes

I debated writing this post because I don't need any more negativity in my life. There are those that seem to take everything I blog about literally and as if it was meant for them and it's not the case. I started blogging first to keep family updated on the kids (which I still do) and second because I found it a great way to let off steam, share my heart, etc. It had become therapeutic until the Negative Nellies decided to wiggle their way in to my writing therapy. And now it's not as enjoyable as it had once been which is a shame. This is the reason for so few posts and those posts that I do write tend to be more superficial. Because I'm not sharing the way I used to. Tonight that changes. Because I need to write. If I don't I will cry. And truth be told I'm fresh out of tears.

For the last several weeks I have been running on fumes. Literally. Barely able to move from one task to the next without feeling completely run down and overwhelmed. My husband surprised me with a trip out of town sans kids (to the beach - my favorite place to relax and get away). The weekend was lovely. Conversation was uninterrupted. We stayed up late and slept in (we're both night owls so this was awesome), we went to real places for food (not places that we knew would be child-friendly) and we just re-connected. It had been 7 years - SEVEN YEARS - since we have had a vacation just the 2 of us. 7 years too long.

We came home on Sunday and resumed life as usual. I picked up the kids from my mom's while he stayed home and got some things done (bills, unpacked, etc.). He gets up really early (leaves somewhere around 5:30-6:00 AM...I'm never sure of the exact time because it's so early. And yeah, I'm just then hitting my good snoozing time). He doesn't get home until about 6:00 PM so I'm used to the long days. This week he hasn't gotten home before 8. Last night it was 10. Tonight he came home long enough to eat, shower, change and go back to work. All night. IF he sleeps he'll be sleeping in his office. His office doesn't have a couch so I can't imagine it will be anywhere near comfortable. This is draining on both of us. I feel like we never even had a weekend away because it's been so crazy since we got back.

My 2 year old? Out. Of. Control. At first I thought she was testing her limits and throwing tantrums. Now I'm wondering if it isn't her meds as the doctor had her on Claritin and then Zyrtec for allergies. Several friends suggested it could be the stimulant in those drugs. Her last does was Wednesday night. Two nights ago. I haven't given her any more in an effort to see if it's the meds or her. This week I have put her in more time outs than I care to count, dealt with endless tears, tantrums and lash-outs. Today? After being hit in the leg she threw her sippy cup at me. Right in my face. Then screamed at me when I started crying because SHE thought I was mad at HER. Please, God, let it be the meds and not something else. Because if it's the meds it will eventually stop.

Add to that the fact that we promised the kids a trip to the fair tomorrow (that's the last day of the fair) and that Daddy would ride the ferris wheel with her (she wants to ride it; her brother doesn't). Now Daddy is going to be at work and I'm still taking them but I've been trying to prepare her and make her understand he can't go. And still tonight as I'm putting her to bed I get, "Daddy take me on ferris wheel tomorrow right Mommy?" And I want to cry because that's the one thing she's been looking forward to and he won't be there. And yeah I can take her on the ferris wheel but that was her and Daddy's thing. And it breaks. my. heart.

Other than the weekend away I am unable to do anything but what has to be done - feeding, bathing, clothing and playing with the kids and my work-at-home stuff. There have been no breaks, no downtime, nothing. I realize that so many moms do this solo with husbands that either travel for work or might physically be there but not REALLY be there. And then there are those super-hero single moms that I am forever amazed by. But darn it I miss my husband. My kids miss their dad. And I said something tonight that I only whispered once before. I wish we never moved back home. That's right. I said it. Why? Because the support network we had in Minnesota is still in Minnesota. I have no one that is "close". Yep, my parents and sister are here. My best friend is here. Dave's family is here. But not one of them is closer than an hour. And when you just need a break for an hour who wants to drive an hour each way to get it and end up losing 3 hours? On top of that these people have lives...my dad and mom have a large church that they pastor, my sister has 3 kids of her own, my BFF has a long commute and works out of town, etc etc etc. You get the picture. We're not established here. We have no connections. Yet. And it's hard.

I want/need to start exercising again and while most people would assume that's because of weight loss - for me weight loss is an added benefit of exercise. I do it for my sanity (or at least I used to). It's probably no wonder I'm losing my sanity since I can't get enough alone time to squeeze in 30 minutes/day. At this time it's not even feasible. It's just not. And I hate it. And it makes me sad and angry. And I am literally at my wit's end.

So there it is. Everything that's bottled up inside me and making my chest feel like it's going to explode. Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe it's not as awful as it feels. Listen, I realize it could be worse. At least I have a husband and I have a husband that works hard. My children are beautiful, healthy, and happy (most days). I see that. I know that. I'm just in a rough spot right now and wondering when I'm going to get a refill so that I can stop running on fumes.

training for a cause

My friend Beki (and fellow teammate for the Shrinking Jeans Down & Dirty in 30 Challenge) is doing an amazing thing right now. She is fundraising for Relay for Life and is working towards her goal of $1,000. She's hosting a health & fitness fair on September 12th and will be running/walking on a treadmill - up to 12 miles and is also raffling prizes online! Check out her blog, see what she is raffling, donate if you can/want to and support a great gal and a terrific cause!

let's talk about you tuesdays

Jamee at A New Kind of Normal hosts "Let's Talk About You Tuesdays" every week. This is the first chance I've had to jump in. Want to join this week? Just answer these questions. (My answers follow in italics.)

1-What was the last movie you saw in the theater? Would you recommend it? Eclipse. And absolutely. But read the books first. It's much more entertaining that way. Trust me.

2-What was your favorite class in college (or high school)? Anything political science.

3-What would be your dream car? Audi.

4-What has been your longest road trip (must include where you started and where you ended up!)? Starting in NW Minnesota and ending in Maryland.

5-What is your favorite style of jeans? Skinnies? Boot-cut? Boot-cut or boyfriend cut. I cannot do skinny jeans. I just can't.

6-If you were given $500 to spend TODAY, what would you purchase? I'd pay my husband back the money I owe him for Fitbloggin and the Disney 1/2 Marathon registrations. And with what was left I'd WANT to buy a Coach purse but knowing me I'd just spend it on the kiddos.

7-Which do you prefer – milk chocolate or dark chocolate? Milk chocolate. Hands down.

If you decide to answer the questions and link-up please leave me a comment. I'd love to see your answers, too!

i confess...

...that I had 2 pieces of cheesecake on my weekend vacation (not at the same time...I'm not THAT bad).

...that I thoroughly enjoyed having some alone time with Dave even though I missed the kids like crazy.

...that I'm kinda looking forward to school starting because while I miss my son like crazy during the day it'll be nice to get back into a routine again. We are so off in the summer.

...that the days I have been home this past week I have worked more than I have played with my kids and I feel super guilty about that.

...that when my children were done with their ice cream at DQ today I didn't eat what was left.

...that I'm a little nervous about tomorrow's weigh-in (see cheesecake confession, above).

...that the fact that the right side of my back and hip hurting has me a little concerned (it was the left side I had "fixed").

...that I hate the hours my husband works. During the week he's rarely, if ever, home except to sleep. And I miss him.

...that I haven't exercised at all this past week (unless you count all of the walking on vacation).

summer

One word. Summer.

laughing so. hard.

Do you ever see something more than once and every. single. time. it makes you laugh? This image does it for me. EVERY. TIME.


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let the half-marathon training begin

That's right, folks, you heard it first on Twitter because I post everything that's anything there first.

I am officially registered for the Disney 1/2 Marathon on January 8, 2011. At this time, I'm doing the 1/2 and I have friends that are actually doing the full marathon the next day (because they're rock stars!) - Brooke, Christie, Kirsten and Karena. A few more peeps are still in the decision making process but suffice it to say it will be an awesome weekend in Florida!

I will admit, I struggled with the decision to start running again. And yes I can run without actually participating in an event but I did make a commitment to raise the money AND complete the 1/2. The money is raised. I need to finish what I started. Additionally, without a goal to work towards I lack the motivation to actually get my legs out there. I've heard it said by so many people that running is mental. And I'm starting to believe it.

That being said I need some input from my friends. Do I do this on my own and tackle a pre-laid-out plan like this? Do I try contacting a virtual training like Coach Joe from TNT? Or do I hit up my local gym and have a trainer there work with me? My goals are to finish in the allotted time and train without serious injury. Having my back fail on me in May was disheartening, depressing and really a very difficult time for me to get through (mentally and physically). I want to do this right so something like this doesn't happen again. Thoughts?

pssst....

I'm still here. Took a long weekend at the beach with my husband. Catching up today. Promise I didn't disappear! *grin*

day book journal - august 7th

I love the idea of posting a weekly Day Book Journal entry (first seen at The Daily Mel). The idea is to post an entry each week giving your readers a brief peek into the blogger's life. I don't know if I'll do it weekly or just this once but it seemed like a fun idea.

Outside my window... it's dark and I hear the crickets singing their good night songs.

I am thinking... that I am really looking forward to getting away for a long weekend with my husband at the end of next week.

I am thankful for... healthy, happy children.

Around the house... I need to hit room # 2 (my son's bedroom) in the grand painting and making the new home ours plan.

I am wearing... a t-shirt, jean shorts and flip-flops.

I am loving... restarting the C25K this week.

I am hoping... that the kids sleep well tonight, and I get to sleep in a little tomorrow.

I am stitching... Are you kidding? This chick doesn't stitch. I can't imagine the damage I'd do if I tried.

I am drooling over... a new laptop bag. I can see it in my mind but I haven't found exactly what I want yet. I love the cute, custom made ones but it's hard to find them to fit my 17" laptop AND have room for my files, too.

I am sorely tempted by... Etsy. I cannot look because then I want to buy. Every. Time.

I am reading... The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson.

On my iPod... all running music. My current fave is Boom Boom Pow by The Black Eyed Peas. Yeah it's so last year but I so still love it.

On my mind... school starting in a few weeks.

On my To Do List... making a final decision regarding the Disney 1/2 Marathon in January.

From my picture journal... my daughter right before heading out to the water park last week. Gah, her cuteness is sometimes too much for me.

weekly check-in: down & dirty in 30

Today is the first weigh-in for the Down & Dirty Challenge over at the Sisterhood. I am already loving this challenge because not only do I think the name totally rocks, BUT we've been paired up in teams! I am on Team E, also known as Exotic Gangstas, with 5 other ridiculously awesome peeps. We had our official first weigh-in on Sunday and today we are down 6.8 pounds as a team. I am so proud of us! Myself, I'm down 0.5 pound but am good with that.

Things are clicking and I'm trying to get into a groove, so to speak. I started the C25K last night and it was so awesome to be back in the exercise game. Sounds crazy, doesn't it? After 3 months I was totally dreading starting again but I felt that rush of doing something good for me and now I'm looking forward to Day 2 tomorrow.

This is a super quick post and I apologize for that but I have little people to get to bed and to say I'm exhausted is an understatement.

Go visit the check-in post for today, scroll through the comments and give these gals lots of encouragement! They're working hard for it!

i confess

I don't want to confess, really, because there are these girls I know. They call themselves the Weight Loss Mafia (abbreviated #WLM on Twitter). And, well, they scare me. And they're watching. Always watching. One of 'em? She lives close enough that she could totally drive to my house and knock some sense into me if she wanted to. I'm just sayin...

Ok, they DO scare me but not in a fear for my life sorta way. They are my friends and they CARE. They are my accountability and it truly means the world to me.

So where do I even start?

I decided to try calorie counting on Friday. Friday went well. Until I caved and had ice cream.

Saturday I didn't count at all because we went to a church picnic. Although I did do well and only ate 1 chicken breast and a cookie several cookies.

I went over a little on Sunday and on Monday I hit the magic number. I had the headache from you know where as a result but I did it.

Today was another off day as far as counting but I did try to make better choices. For example, no crappy snacks from the water park I took the kids to. And dinner out was fish with steamed veggies.

I'm not sure if I'll have lost weight tomorrow when I weigh-in seeing as I'm coming off of a 2 week ice cream every evening deal that ended Friday night but I am secretly hoping for at least a half pound. And now that I have my fridge stocked with free foods (read: carrots, peppers, you know healthy snacks), I am confident this next week will be better.

As April told me - I am SO CLOSE. And I am. The difficult part is getting my body through the shock it's currently in as I'm consuming less caffeine, less calories, no white bread, and, in turn, less sugar. This is good for me. I know it is. And while my body may be revolting now it will thank me soon enough. I just have to get there.

I did restart the Couch-to-5K tonight and I felt so good. After almost 3 months since my injury (8/5 will mark 3 months) it was an awesome feeling to get back on the treadmill. And quite honestly, it went really fast. Zero pain.

I drank more water from this past Friday through today than I have probably consumed in the last few weeks total. Really. I was sooo bad with the water intake until now.

And you know what? It feels good to write this. I didn't want to but now that I have I can sit back and say ok I had some rough patches starting but I'm on the right track, I'm doing what I need to do and I WILL be healthy. For me. And for my kids.