7:13 AM Posted by Roo

So to everyone that still reads my blog even though I rarely post these days, thanks for hanging around and waiting for me to resurface. I've been dealing with a lot lately, none of which I really want to delve into here. Maybe another time but for today I just can't.

The reason for this post is I have some very serious decisions to make regarding me, my mental health, my physical health, etc. I want you to give me feedback and be honest with me because something's got to give. Anyone wanna drive north a bit and pop me? Brooke? April? Thea? Wait. Let me reconsider that. These girls are hard core and might actually head this way to pop me in person.

Obviously I have been lacking any real, lasting motivation to be healthier for some time now. I'm participating in the current challenge at Shrinking Jeans but I'm doing my typical up and down yo-yo thing.

A little over a month ago I was diagnosed with hypertension (high blood pressure) and it turns out that is what has been causing my migraines. I'm now on blood pressure medication and my headaches, for the most part, have subsided. I had 2 horrific migraines the 1st 2 days on my meds but since then I've only had 1. So the lack of headaches is good. Hypertension at 34 is not.

Next big health issue is my cholesterol, triglycerides, LDL, etc. I don't really get it but suffice it to say that (and the previously mentioned hypertension) run in my family. My numbers are pretty high. High enough that my doctor said if I don't make some drastic changes and he sees my numbers come down at my 3-month follow-up appointment that he's putting me on meds for that too.

Ok, so let's recap how much medication I'm now taking:
  • blood pressure medicine and accompanying water pill
  • anxiety med for panic attacks and depression
  • migraine pills, as needed
  • migraine therapy med (which is supposed to work with my anti-depressant to eliminate/reduce frequency of migraines)
And quite possibly we'll have to add cholesterol medication. The only pill I'm not taking daily is my migraine pill which is for when I actually have a migraine. OH. MY. GAWD. I am too young for this. I realize most of my "issues" are hereditary but it also goes hand in hand with my weight, poor food choices, lack of exercise, etc.

I have to figure out a game plan ASAP. I DO NOT want to rob my kids of a mother. I NEED to make lifestyle changes immediately. I can't continue this "but I really want that to eat because it tastes good". My relationship with food is bad. My choices are bad. I am addicted to sugar. I know this but I'm at a loss of how to fix it. I need accountability. I also need a real lifestyle change that my entire family will follow. I'm no longer looking at this from a vanity standpoint because I want to be thin. I am looking at it as a must-do for me and my kids.

I've joined and re-joined Weight Watchers more times than I can count. And it works when I follow it. I just don't know how realistic it is for me over the long haul. Honestly? I get bored with it. I get into a habit of always eating this or that because I know the points. Do I go back and try Weight Watchers again? Do I find a nutritionist that will sit down and keep me accountable along with helping me understand what I need to do? Am I over-thinking this?

Anyone? Bueller?