broken

I had really hoped my next post would be full of lots of positive goodness. But as far as my injuries are concerned I have nothing positive to report. I canceled last week's Death by Derrick session and have had to put any future ones on hold pending results of my x-rays and physical therapy. Yes, you read it right. X-rays AND physical therapy. Starting tomorrow. The doctor still isn't sure what I did although he's guessing the sacroiliac strain is a result of training for the 1/2 marathon. That being said, he doesn't think I'm going to be well enough physically to actually participate in the 1/2 marathon in a few short weeks. I, on the other hand, am hoping and praying that a week or two of physical therapy will get me well enough to at least walk it. Only time will tell.

As I type this I am feeling...broken, disappointed, overwhelmed and sad. I have been training for this and had my heart set on it. When it went from partially running to walking only I accepted that. Now to physically NOT be able to even walk it? Devastating. Some people may not get why this is so important to me; all I can say is it is.

I keep telling myself that at least I exceeded my fundraising goal of $2,900 and the monies I raised will go towards finding a cure for blood cancers but raising the money was only part of the journey for me. Actually going the full 13.1 miles was the other part and a very important part.

I refuse to let this get me down. Yes, I am sad. But I will get past this. I will go to therapy, I will do what I need to do to get well again and I will heal. It's just getting to the stage where I am well again that will prove difficult for me. I'm impatient and I want to get better yesterday.

21 days? gone.

The 21 day challenge ended without me realizing it ended. It's just been a rough few weeks. But hey, there's always a new challenge, right? And there's a 1/2 marathon in 2 weeks. And there's a Death by Derrick session in my future (Friday morning, to be exact). I'm not looking forward to that. I haven't been to the gym in *cough* 2 weeks. Granted I have a good excuse - what with the low back strain and sciatica - BUT I still hate feeling like a slacker. Whatevs. I'll get over it. I'm actually walking today without limping and not as sore as I have been. I hope that's a good sign!!!

i survived

I survived my first session with my new favorite guy to hate. I have never had anyone push me that hard. My upper body muscles are so sore and still shaky. It hurts to pick up a 33.8 ounce water bottle, people. I can't imagine how I'm going to feel in the morning. And I don't even want to imagine. I actually told him we needed to start with lighter weights and he was all like, "Oh no, not when you're training with me..." CRAP.

Next Thursday we work on lower body and he officially puts me on a training plan. In the meantime I need to do cardio, cardio, cardio. I'm debating a 2 hour aerobics interval class or a 45 minute cycle class. I'm leaning towards the cycle class so my upper body gets a break from today. We'll see. Bikes are supposed to be reserved ahead of time and I didn't reserve one so I plan to pop in ahead of time and see if there's an available cycle. If not, I guess I'll hit the interval class.

And by the way, have you ever worked out so insanely hard you threw up? Yeah, me neither. Until today. Well, I guess I should look at the bright side - at least I didn't throw up on him. YAY!

spring fling challenge weigh-in #6

Although I didn't blog about it last week I did weigh-in and post in my sidebar over there on the left. Week 5 I gained 1.3. This week I'm down 1.4. I have tried to be more conscious of the amount of food I'm putting in my mouth and not eating randomly and when I'm not hungry (which I'm really good at - the eating randomly, that is).

I decided to join a gym. I know. Today was my first day there and because my biggest concern is child care (i.e. will my child stay and have fun?) I was more than a little nervous. Well combine that with the fact that I haven't set foot in a gym in a few years and I had just about talked myself out of going. But I went. And I'm glad I did. My little one thoroughly enjoyed herself, I got a few miles in on the treadmill and am ready to start working this into my daily routine. I have a 9:00 a.m. appointment with a personal trainer who has assured me he'll "whip me into shape" and I'm officially scared. Will someone hold me please?

My friend Lissa takes a muscle work class lovingly called "Death by Barb". I'm totally thinking tomorrow morning's visit will be "Death by Derrick". IF I can move I'll let you know how it went.

This week's goals? Water, water, water. And try not to kill myself at the gym.