don't quit

4:45 PM Posted by Roo

There's a poem I love. I have loved it for years. Only now as I'm dealing with my back injury and the disappointment of not only not completing the half-marathon I've trained for but dealing with several weeks of inactivity and not being able to travel to cheer on my teammates, has it come to mean so much more to me.

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you're trudging seems all uphill,
When the funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile, but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit-
Rest if you must, but don't you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a fellow turns about
When he might have won had he stuck it out.
Don't give up though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor's cup;
And he learned too late when the night came down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint in the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are,
It might be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you're hardest hit -
It's when things seem worst that you must not quit.

-Author Unknown-


Yes, I've been knocked down. Yes, I'm disappointed. But I won't let this keep me down. I will be able to exercise again and I WILL train for and complete a half-marathon as soon as I have the all-clear from my doctor and physical therapist to start training again.

thursday 3 - you know you've thought about it...

3:00 AM Posted by Roo

As you can see, I'm playing catch-up on my Shrinking Jeans posts! The original post from Thea is from a week ago Thursday but I just had to participate cause this one is fun!

So tell me, have you ever though about plastic surgery? I have! I mean, it's highly unlikely I'd ever do it but hey I've thought about it! So here are my top 3 surgical procedures I'd pick if I ever were to do something so wild and crazy.

Number 1 - Tummy Tuck/Lipo. I have always wanted a tummy tuck. Just to get rid of the kangaroo pouch. Cause while Kanga and Roo on Winnie the Pooh are oh-so-cute, my pouch is oh-so-not.

Number 2 - Boob Lift. No I don't want implants. I just don't want 'em sagging to my knees when I'm 80.

Number 3 - Lasik Eye Surgery. Did I even spell that right? I dunno. But out of these 3 this is the most likely candidate for ever happening. Granted the contact lenses I wear now I can sleep in but it would be sooo nice to not have to wear them or glasses ever again!

thursday 3 - if I would have known...

3:00 AM Posted by Roo

Ever wish you could go back in time and tell your younger self something? I've thought about it and when Lissa posted it over at the Sisterhood I figured I'd jump in and post mine.
  • I would tell the 19 year old girl who thought she knew it all that deciding to date a jerk and then eventually marrying him wasn't a wise decision. I would remind her that letting a man hit her is never, under any circumstances acceptable. While she did wise up and get out I wish she would have left sooner - or better yet, listened to her parents and not even dated him to begin with.
  • I would tell the first time mother in her late 20's that nothing in this world compares to holding that little baby in her arms and to stop and slow down because before you know it he's finishing Kindergarten and turning 6.
  • I would tell my younger self that she IS worth it, that she always was and to never let anyone else tell her differently.
Of course there are other things I'd tell her like, "Your bangs really don't need to be teased that high!" (Yes, totally stole that one from Lissa but it was me too!), that waiting to work until she graduated high school would've been way more fun than working part-time senior year, and to have spent more time with her little sister. Cause even though I still spend time with her and enjoy it, it's not the same care-free time we had as kids. And I miss it.

a new challenge

8:17 PM Posted by Roo

I run with the Sisterhood
So there's a new challenge over at the Sisterhood - Shrink into Summer. I plan to participate - I'm just a wee bit behind. So this Wednesday I will weigh-in and go from there. I don't expect it to be pretty because my body is not cooperating post-injury and not only am I not allowed to exercise (other than what I do in physical therapy which, let's face it, doesn't count) but I'm also supposed to rest for 2 weeks. Resting is supposed to consist of no cleaning, no cooking, no laundry, no exercise and no standing for any length of time. So basically, with children aged 6 and 2, the doctor and physical therapist want me to do nothing. Ha! I know! Sooo, if I plan on doing any shrinking I best be watching what I put in my mouth, huh?

broken

2:07 PM Posted by Roo

I had really hoped my next post would be full of lots of positive goodness. But as far as my injuries are concerned I have nothing positive to report. I canceled last week's Death by Derrick session and have had to put any future ones on hold pending results of my x-rays and physical therapy. Yes, you read it right. X-rays AND physical therapy. Starting tomorrow. The doctor still isn't sure what I did although he's guessing the sacroiliac strain is a result of training for the 1/2 marathon. That being said, he doesn't think I'm going to be well enough physically to actually participate in the 1/2 marathon in a few short weeks. I, on the other hand, am hoping and praying that a week or two of physical therapy will get me well enough to at least walk it. Only time will tell.

As I type this I am feeling...broken, disappointed, overwhelmed and sad. I have been training for this and had my heart set on it. When it went from partially running to walking only I accepted that. Now to physically NOT be able to even walk it? Devastating. Some people may not get why this is so important to me; all I can say is it is.

I keep telling myself that at least I exceeded my fundraising goal of $2,900 and the monies I raised will go towards finding a cure for blood cancers but raising the money was only part of the journey for me. Actually going the full 13.1 miles was the other part and a very important part.

I refuse to let this get me down. Yes, I am sad. But I will get past this. I will go to therapy, I will do what I need to do to get well again and I will heal. It's just getting to the stage where I am well again that will prove difficult for me. I'm impatient and I want to get better yesterday.

21 days? gone.

4:58 PM Posted by Roo

The 21 day challenge ended without me realizing it ended. It's just been a rough few weeks. But hey, there's always a new challenge, right? And there's a 1/2 marathon in 2 weeks. And there's a Death by Derrick session in my future (Friday morning, to be exact). I'm not looking forward to that. I haven't been to the gym in *cough* 2 weeks. Granted I have a good excuse - what with the low back strain and sciatica - BUT I still hate feeling like a slacker. Whatevs. I'll get over it. I'm actually walking today without limping and not as sore as I have been. I hope that's a good sign!!!

fessing up

7:30 PM Posted by Roo

True Confessions
It's been a while since I've linked up on the weekly confessions post but here goes:
  • I'm tired.
  • I'm injured.
  • Since said injury I haven't been able to exercise at all (no walking, no running, nothing). Doctor and chiropractor have both diagnosed me with sacroiliac strain and a secondary diagnosis of sciatica. Not really what one wants or needs with only a few weeks before a half marathon, huh?
  • I'm depressed.
  • I'm overwhelmed.
  • And those 21 day goals? Meh. Not so much.
That being said, I am THRILLED to announce that I've reached my fundraising goal for the LLS 1/2 Marathon!!!!

And I'm having lunch with Thea tomorrow.

DOUBLE YAY!

so close

6:52 PM Posted by Roo

As of this evening, I am almost at my fundraising goal for the LLS 1/2 Marathon in San Diego as part of Team Shrinking Jeans. I. Am. Amazed. I have things that I want to share (and will share!) but time doesn't permit me to do so tonight. For now I just want to say a huge THANK YOU to every single person that has helped me regardless of the amount. YOU are all awesome and I love you so much.

I only need $62.86 to reach my goal of $2,900.

If you would like to donate, click HERE.

Thank you for believing in me and helping such an important cause!

xoxo

reasons to smile

7:24 PM Posted by Roo

I have so many reasons to smile yet some days can't see through the tears to remember them. Tonight, I list only a few of my many reasons to smile. I hope to remember to look at this list when I'm feeling down because really? I am blessed beyond measure. I just don't always remember that.
  • A roof over my head. So simple to overlook. I have a home, heat and A/C, running water, toilets and showers that work, a fridge and pantry full of food and a warm cozy bed to sleep in. Some people would give anything for just one of these items.
  • A spouse who doesn't abuse me, helps with kitchen clean-up and kids, works hard so I can stay home with our children and pays our bills on time.
  • Sight. I can see the sunshine, look at my children smiling and enjoy the beauty of the weeds flowers my children pick for me so often.
  • I can hear. This one makes me chuckle because there are some days - boy are there some days! - that I'd prefer to block out the noise. But I really am grateful that I can hear my kids laughing, listen to the rain or ocean waves (I love, love, love the beach!) and hear the little voices singing along to whatever music might be playing at any given time.
  • My friends are awesome. They make me a laugh a lot. And laughter is the best medicine. Need good friends? I can totally hook you up!
  • I am healthy. Yes I have the occasional cold, I might get a headache and my body has its share of aches and pains. But I am healthy. I can walk. Heck, it kills me, but I can even run.
So tell me, what makes YOU smile?

my schedule

9:54 AM Posted by Roo

Remember a few posts back when I was griping about how I couldn't get anything done and needed to find a way to schedule the necessary stuff without compromising my "me time", etc.? Well guess what? I has me a schedule! Woot!

Last night, after a really nice, relaxing Mother's Day (big thank you to my husband for giving me the best gift of all - sleep!) I sat down and figured out my daily schedule. It's somewhat flexbile but should still allow me to get what needs done most days. And right now that's better than what I was getting done - nothing. This has taken quite a weight off of my shoulders.

Next item to tackle that I'm struggling with? Meal planning.

thursday 3 - when i look in the mirror, i like my _______.

5:34 PM Posted by Roo

Oh wow. This week's Thursday 3 is a good one! The question is: "When you look in the mirror, what is that you like or love about what you see?"

It is SO EASY to focus on what I don't like, I'll be honest. But there are things I do like. I just don't always see it.

I love my eyes, my smile and, of all things, my toes ~ my eyes because they're the same blue passed down from my dad even though I have little to no eyelashes, my smile because it truly is my best feature - I can't be down when I smile, and my toes because they look so stinkin' cute in sandals with a pedicure.

Go look in the mirror. What do you love about YOU?

schedule, what?

4:36 PM Posted by Roo

I am having a real problem putting myself on a schedule. I am running around in circles and quite frankly feel like a dog chasing its tail. Nice visual, huh?

Here's what must get done every day:
  • Feed and bathe my children.
  • Pick up and drop off my oldest at school.
  • Take a shower. (Although this has been optional lately.)
  • Dinner. (Ugh. Why is this so hard?)
  • Exercise. Not only for my physical and mental health but for my 1/2 marathon in June.
  • Work. I work for 2 AVON District Managers from home and have stuff I must get done for them on a daily basis.
Stuff that is only getting done when it absolutely must:
  • Laundry.
  • Picking up around the house. Don't even get me started on actually cleaning.
  • Me eating breakfast. I know.
  • Couple time with my husband. It's been practically non-existent. Not good.
So what do I do? The stuff that must get done isn't always getting done (although no worries my children ARE being taken care of) and it's stressing me out. I've had a migraine almost every day for the last week and a half. It starts as a tension headache and spreads from there. I've seen my chiropractor who has confirmed what's going on but I don't know how to fix it. When I get a migraine I cannot function. At all. This puts me even further behind and makes me stress out even more. See the cycle? I need to put myself on a schedule and stick to it before I lose my mind. Any suggestions on how to start would be greatly appreciated. Because at this point I'm so totally overwhelmed that the only thing I find myself doing is staring at my crazy long to-do list and, well, doing nothing.