why must my child pee everywhere but the toilet?

6:19 PM Posted by Roo

Being a mom is tough. So tough. I had no idea when I had my 2nd child that she would be so drastically different from my first. Everything he is she is the opposite. Don't get me wrong, I love them both. Unconditionally. But my baby girl (who is 3) is going to send me to the loony farm. And not the kind that houses her beloved "happy cows".

She's potty trained. Or was. Whether it's a power struggle, her being stubborn, being too busy to go to the bathroom, whatever. It's driving me absolutely crazy. I've done time outs and after being mad about it the first few times she's all "okay mom" when it's time to sit in the corner. She does her time and does it all over again. Today I started taking favorite things from her. She didn't care. About an hour before bedtime I had taken everything and the TV. Her brother had to go into my bedroom to finish the show he was watching. Again, she didn't care.

When I ask her if it's an accident or if she's doing it on purpose I'm getting mixed replies. Once it's "I'm sorry I promise I didn't mean it; it was an accident, mommy." or "I no want to go in the potty. I'm the boss." (The last comment makes me think she's trying to prove a point but I refuse to let her be the boss.)

I'm being consistent. There are consequences each time (time out and today started with her toys) but it just doesn't seem to faze her. Tomorrow she will clean it up herself. I'm not even sure if that will work. I don't understand and I know a power struggle with potty issues isn't a good thing but I'm at a complete and total loss here. This is the *only* thing we are struggling with right now and I just don't know what to do next.


  1. Bari said...

    I know we talked a lot on twitter today, but what about consulting with your pediatrician?

  2. Anonymous said...

    Yeah, I'm thinking it's a power struggle but that's just my ntense need to label things. : )

    I agree with Bari, a call to your ped might be in order.

  3. Casey@LoveWhatIs said...

    Aw, man. Potty issues are realllllly stressful! My first took a very long time to get everything potty figured out. It was a very stressful, very long 9 months. Do you think that she has a UTI? If not, maybe she just wants to experiment with controlling her body.

    I know you didn't ask for input and advice, so feel free to ignore this. :-) If I were to do it again, I would just put him back in diapers. I know that it seems counter intuitive, but I was not a very nice person on those days when he was not using the potty. Instead of going through the stress and frustration, I would just go back to diapers if that happened with my 2nd or 3rd.

    I think for me part of the frustration came from having to clean up stuff that got peed on. It seemed like it was a personal insult somehow. He was PEEING on my stuff! Obviously when it got to that point I had lost any objectivity that I had. I think that should have been a sign for me, but somehow it wasn't. And, instead I pushed him. The main lesson I learned was not to get into a power struggle over potty issues. I cannot win. It's his body, and he will win every single time. It's soooo not worth it.

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