decisions
So to everyone that still reads my blog even though I rarely post these days, thanks for hanging around and waiting for me to resurface. I've been dealing with a lot lately, none of which I really want to delve into here. Maybe another time but for today I just can't.The reason for this post is I have some very serious decisions to make regarding me, my mental health, my physical health, etc. I want you to give me feedback and be honest with me because something's got to give. Anyone wanna drive north a bit and pop me? Brooke? April? Thea? Wait. Let me reconsider that. These girls are hard core and might actually head this way to pop me in person.
Obviously I have been lacking any real, lasting motivation to be healthier for some time now. I'm participating in the current challenge at Shrinking Jeans but I'm doing my typical up and down yo-yo thing.
A little over a month ago I was diagnosed with hypertension (high blood pressure) and it turns out that is what has been causing my migraines. I'm now on blood pressure medication and my headaches, for the most part, have subsided. I had 2 horrific migraines the 1st 2 days on my meds but since then I've only had 1. So the lack of headaches is good. Hypertension at 34 is not.
Next big health issue is my cholesterol, triglycerides, LDL, etc. I don't really get it but suffice it to say that (and the previously mentioned hypertension) run in my family. My numbers are pretty high. High enough that my doctor said if I don't make some drastic changes and he sees my numbers come down at my 3-month follow-up appointment that he's putting me on meds for that too.
Ok, so let's recap how much medication I'm now taking:
- blood pressure medicine and accompanying water pill
- anxiety med for panic attacks and depression
- migraine pills, as needed
- migraine therapy med (which is supposed to work with my anti-depressant to eliminate/reduce frequency of migraines)
I have to figure out a game plan ASAP. I DO NOT want to rob my kids of a mother. I NEED to make lifestyle changes immediately. I can't continue this "but I really want that to eat because it tastes good". My relationship with food is bad. My choices are bad. I am addicted to sugar. I know this but I'm at a loss of how to fix it. I need accountability. I also need a real lifestyle change that my entire family will follow. I'm no longer looking at this from a vanity standpoint because I want to be thin. I am looking at it as a must-do for me and my kids.
I've joined and re-joined Weight Watchers more times than I can count. And it works when I follow it. I just don't know how realistic it is for me over the long haul. Honestly? I get bored with it. I get into a habit of always eating this or that because I know the points. Do I go back and try Weight Watchers again? Do I find a nutritionist that will sit down and keep me accountable along with helping me understand what I need to do? Am I over-thinking this?
Anyone? Bueller?
April 12, 2011 at 7:33 AM
I think you are definitely on the right track - and I agree that a lot of meds in your early 30's is pretty scary. Like you said, many of the issues are hereditary and there isn't much you can do about that, but you can work on the part that is in your control. This might be a crazy idea, but have you ever thought about switching to a vegan, or very-nearly-vegan lifestyle? Eliminating animal products and electing more whole foods might go a long way in improving your health and the health of your family. If you can't do that, or even if you can, I'd suggest working with a nutritionist if you can afford it. Also, maybe weight watchers isn't for you (I also got really bored with tracking points) but I think journaling what you eat and when you exercise can go a long way in making you more aware of what you are putting in your body.
Hugs, Roo. You will get through this.
April 12, 2011 at 7:55 AM
okay first off i've been wanting to do the nutritionist thing for a while. i just am unsure how to go about it.
i mean does insurance cover it? how expensive is it?
if you want to track i'd suggest something free like livestrong.com or myfitnesspal. for MFP you can have it update your twitter when you've logged all your calories for the day. hello accountability.
also? if you want, i'd love to try to be your support. i need it too. i'm in a similar state with not knowing how to proceed.
if you want to check in together daily, weekly, whatever i'm here for you.
love ya {{{roo}}}
April 12, 2011 at 9:15 AM
It's like you and I were channelling each other today :) Honestly, Bari's on to something. Of course, I'm already (very nearly) vegan, so I would say that. I'm not sure how doable that is for your family situation, although it is a nonissue for my husband and kids. If you want any book/blog starting recommendations, I can help you out. But I don't want to push because some people see that - ie. being vegan - as being very extreme.
You CAN do this - you're life is too important not to. Hugs to you, girl.
April 12, 2011 at 3:06 PM
Sounds like you are where I was 2 years ago...only I was 43!! My doctor basically posed the question - Do you want to die young or do you want to live long enough to see your young son grow up?? I chose to change the way I live, although I'm ALONG way from close enough to that "healthy" place I want to be but at least I have changed enough to get off the blood pressure meds. Feel free to email me and we can stay accountable to each other! The biggest change I made?? Stop drinking SODA and MOVE the body EVERY DAY! Amazing what just those things did for me! You can do this, Roo! I believe in you!
April 15, 2011 at 7:01 PM
Are you ready for a virtual pop? 'Cause it's coming at you right now.
Fear. You're scared. Not of health issues, but of the changes you're going to need to make.
You KNOW what you need to do. You need to do it. Email us daily. Or download a tracking app so it's always with you. Stop buying the sugar. Whatever it is, you KNOW what you need to do.
Now go and do it.